Handfasting
In the Unitarian Universalist tradition, handfasting ceremonies may vary considerably from one couple to another. Below you'll find a sample Unitarian Universalist handfasting ceremony as I would lead it. (Handfasting ceremonies by other Unitarian Universalist ministers might be substantially different.) If you would like your handfasting ceremony to serve as a legal marriage, I will sign marriage licenses for handfastings at which I officiate.
The ceremony below draws elements from neo-pagan handfasting ceremonies, traditional European handfasting ceremonies, and earth-centered Unitarian Universalism. This ceremony is not gender-specific.
I am happy to work with couples to make this their ceremony more personal. Just remember that I am a Unitarian Universalist minister, not a Wiccan priestess, Vodoun priest, Druid, etc. If you want elements from a specific neo-pagan traditions, we should talk about whether it is appropriate for me to conduct such elements, so we can avoid misappropriating cultural/religious elements.
I am available to lead handfasting ceremonies for members and friends of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto, and for religious liberals in the area who have no formal religious affiliation or who are unable to be married in their own church. I am happy to officiate at weddings for same-sex couples. — Rev. Dan Harper
Intention
A____ and B____, the deepest root of handfasting is common consent. Now is the time for you two to give your consent and declare your intent to join your lives together. You have invited us to share this ceremony with you, and to witness the happiness you have found in each other. We know that the commitment between you is already strong. Are you ready to begin this ceremony?
We are.
Web of Life
[The couple exchange a red rose, other red flower, or evergreen bough with some bit of red in it. (Ideally, these plants would be locally grown, collected from a garden or the wild.)]
Exchanging the Rose / Flowers:
This red rose/flower, the color of passion, is unique and like no other rose/flower in the world. A____, you are unique, and out of all the people in the world B____ has chosen to spend his/her life with you.
[Officiant hands first rose/flower to B____.]
B____, please dip this rose/flower in the water.
[B____ dips rose/flower into water.]
Water is the stuff of life, and water connects all living things, all of humanity. B____, by dipping this rose/flower in water, you symbolize your connection with A____, and with the entire Web of Life. B____, please touch this rose/flower to A____'s forehead and heart, and hand the rose/flower to him/her.
[B____ does so.]
So you two shall be connected by mind and heart and spirit and passion.—
This red rose/flower, the color of passion, is unique and like no other rose/flower in the world. B____, you are unique, and out of all the people in the world A____ has chosen to spend his/her life with you.
[Officiant hands second rose/flower to A____.]
A____, please dip this rose/flower in the water.
[A____ dips rose/flower into water.]
Water is the stuff of life, and water connects all living things, all of humanity. A____, by dipping this rose in water, you symbolize your connection with B____, and with the entire Web of Life. A____, please touch this rose/flower to B____'s forehead and heart, and hand the rose/flower to him/her.
[A____ does so.]
So you two shall be connected by mind and heart and spirit and passion.”
~ OR ~
Exchanging the Evergreen Boughs:
This evergreen bough represents eternal life; this bit of red represents the passion that never dies. A____, out of all the people in the world B____ has chosen to spend all of his/her life with you.
[Officiant hands first evergreen bough to B____.]
B____, please dip this bough in the water.
[B____ dips rose into water.]
Water is the stuff of life, and water connects all living things, all of humanity. B____, by dipping this evergreen in water, you symbolize your connection with A____, and with the entire Web of Life. B____, please touch this bough to A____'s forehead and heart, and hand the bough to him/her.
[B____ does so.]
So you two shall be connected by mind and heart and spirit and passion.”
This evergreen bough represents eternal life; this bit of red represents the passion that never dies. B____, out of all the people in the world A____ has chosen to spend all of his/her life with you.
[Officiant hands second evergreen bough to A____.]
A____, please dip this bough in the water.
[A____ dips rose into water.]
Water is the stuff of life, and water connects all living things, all of humanity. A____, by dipping this evergreen in water, you symbolize your connection with B____, and with the entire Web of Life. A____, please touch this bough to B____'s forehead and heart, and hand the bough to him/her.
[A____ does so.]
So you two shall be connected by mind and heart and spirit and passion.
Exchange of Rings
Words for exchanging rings here.
Handfasting
A____ and B____, will you now join your right hands?
[They join right hands.]
A____ and B____, will you now join your left hands? Since your left hands are the hands closer to your hearts, will you place your left hands over your right hands?
[They join left hands.]
By joining your right hands and then your left hands, you have made the symbol of infinity. So may your love for one another have no limit. So may your time together have no end.
[Officiant ties a white cord around their hands. The cord should be natural fiber (i.e., not polyester or nylon). Silk or cotton is more tender than linen and hemp.]
Here the couple reads the vows they have chosen.
Sample vows here.
By placing your hands together and exchanging your vows, you have entered into covenant together. Your promises to one another have been freely given, and freely received.
Above you the stars turn in their timeless circuits;
Below you the land is solid under your feet;
Around you stand other people;
Beyond the horizon lies mountains and ocean and sky and mystery;
Behind you stand generations;
Ahead of you stretches incomprehensible time;
And within you lies love which will grow and flourish
As long as you both shall nurture it, and tend it well.
As day follows day, and year follows year, remember this:
May your love for each other be timeless as a star;
May your love stand solid in spite of storms;
May your love reach beyond you to friends and family;
May the mystery of the horizon beckon you onwards;
May you have the patience of the generations;
May you remain familiar yet incomprehensible.
This is but the beginning of your love,
May it grow and flourish forever.
[Officiant cuts the cord into two pieces, ties one piece around each person's left hand.]
Pronouncement
Inasmuch as A____ and B____ have grown in knowledge and love of one another, because they have agreed in their desire to go forward in life together, nurturing their love so it may ever grow, and because they have pledged themselves to meet sorrow and joy as one family, we rejoice to recognize them as joined together as one (in marriage).
Closing words
Options for closing words here.
You are welcome to use any or all of this ceremony on your own. To the best of my knowledge, everything here is either in the public domain, or written by me and available to you to use.