Child dedications
In the Unitarian Universalist tradition, children are usually formally named and welcomed into the religious community in a ceremony known as a "child dedication." The child dedication comes primarily from our Universalist heritage; as early as 1770, Universalist John Murray saw no justification for baptising babies, and instead chose to create a naming ceremony in which the congregation dedicated children to the highest ideals (Murray would have said, dedicated children to God). By the 19th C., midwestern Unitarians were combining flower ceremonies with what they called "christenings"; although some Unitarians were also saying they "dedicated" children. In the late 20th C., the Unitarians and Universalists joined forces, and many Unitarian Universalists felt no need to mention God in their naming ceremonies.
Child dedications have now taken on several interrelated meanings: —We welcome children into the world, and into the religious community, by formally giving them their name; —We dedicate children to the highest ideals of life; —The congregation dedicates itself to supporting the parents/guardians and the child/ren, as the child/ren grows up; —We rededicate ourselves to creating a more sane and just world, a world in which all children are wlecomed and may thrive.
Some Unitarian Universalist parents/guardians may want their child/ren to be christened. I have included a sample christening service, as I would lead it. The main difference is in the paryer, which uses God-talk.
Child dedication
This is the way I would tend to do a child dedication; the senior minister here at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto (UUCPA), Rev. Amy Zucker Morgenstern, does things a little differently, and you can find a sample of one of her child dedications here. The child dedication is normally a part of the regular worship service at UUCPA, and comes after the opening hymn and before children go off to Sunday school.
Introduction
We have set aside a time in our worship service this morning to welcome a new child to the world [if older child: "to formally welcome a new child to this religious community"]. Could the parents [and godparents/sponsors] of ________ please come forward?
(Parents/guardians bring child to front of church, accompanied by godparents/sponsors.)
Opening words
Humanity is our responsibility, human beings are that part of the total universe that we can do something about.
Perhaps we cannot make heaven be so, but to our children we can give our love, our care, our respect.
(adapted from words by Kenneth Patton)
Reading
(Chosen for the specific ceremony. The following reading is provided as an example:)
Charles and I were driving up a country road. All around us in the distance were great mountain peaks.
“What a view!” I said. “Look at the mountains, Charles.”
But I instantly knew that, at the age of eighteen months, he couldn’t possibly look at the mountains and there was absolutely nothing I could do to make him see them. The only mountain within his range of vision is the slight rise in the path going out to the swing. This “mountain” is just as exciting to him as mine are to me. The infinitesimal piece of mica that lies on his “mountain” and catches the sun, and the tiny ant that is tugging a crumb of his cooky away -- these hold him spellbound. These are the proper objects of his curiosity now.
He’ll get to my mountains in time, and with the same zest and wonder that he now shows, if I don’t rush him....
Children are naturally curious about the really profound mysteries and deeply appreciative of universal and enduring values. But we should have the patience not to talk over their heads or beyond their experience. If we had a higher regard for human nature and a greater trust in reality, we would not be in such a hurry.
Often, it seem that we adults are afraid to let the children probe the perplexing aspects of experience. We are afraid of the honesty and frankness of children, which, when allowed free expression, so often exposes the incompleteness of our knowledge and the parochialism of so many of our values. Their simple logic and clear young vision are apt to reveal our careless thinking and the yawning gaps between our ideals and social reality. We feel as exposed as the emperor in his new clothes.
— Edith Hunter, Conversations with Children (Hunter was a Unitarian religious educator and writer.)
Naming
(If the child is a baby, usually I would hold him or her for the naming.)
Minister: What is the name of this child?
Parents give name of child.
Minister: ________________, we welcome you and we give you this name as yours forever.
You are unique. There is no one else like you in the entire world. Your parents and your family welcome you in all your uniqueness. We give you this rose, different from every other rose in the world, as a symbol of your uniqueness.
We welcome you to this community. Water is the stuff of life, water connects all living things, all of humanity. The rose is dipped in water to symbolize your essential connection with all of us in this community.
(I touch the rose to the child's forehead, and give the rose to the child. Then I give the baby back to the parents/guardians to hold.)
Prayer
Let us join our hearts together in the spirit of prayer and meditation.
We give thanks for this new life that has come among us. Each new child brings us new hope for a new beginning. We see the great potential that lies in every human life, and we know this child will bring [his/her] unique gifts to humanity, if we help [him/her] to do so. May we recognize and nurture the unique gifts of this child. And through all the challenges and joys to come, may this child’s life be blessed with hope and courage and love.
Litany of dedication
Minister: ______________, we welcome you among us.
All: We give thanks for your new life, and for the new hope you bring.
Minister: We will appreciate your uniqueness, we will teach you and learn from you, we will love you and respect you.
Congregation [including godparents]: We will delight in your accomplishments, we will share in your sorrows, we will encourage you in every way as you grow into adulthood.
[Godparents: We promise to be always available for you and your parents in the journeys and adventures ahead, and we promise you our loving presence in your life.]
Parents/Guardians: We, your parents, love you with all our hearts, and dedicate ourselves to do all that we can to share with you the beauty and the goodness of life.
All: We will support you and your parents through all the experiences of life.
Closing words
May the truth that sets us free,
And the hope that never dies,
And the love that casts out fear
Be with us now
Until the dayspring breaks,
And the shadows flee away.
This ceremony may be changed in dicussion with the minister.
Christening ceremony
There is little difference between the way I would officate at a child dedication, and the way I would officiate at a christening. The main difference between this christening and a child dedication is that this christening incorporates a prayer that mentions God.
Introduction
We have set aside a time in our worship service this morning to welcome a new child to the world [if older child: "to formally welcome a new child to this religious community"]. Could the parents [and godparents] of ________ please come forward?
(Parents/guardians bring child to front of church, accompanied by godparents/sponsors.)
Opening words
Humanity is our responsibility, human beings are that part of the total universe that we can do something about.
Perhaps we cannot make heaven be so, but to our children we can give our love, our care, our respect.
(adapted from words by Kenneth Patton)
Reading
(Chosen for the specific ceremony. The following reading isprovided as an example:)
Charles and I were driving up a country road. All around us in the distance were great mountain peaks.
“What a view!” I said. “Look at the mountains, Charles.”
But I instantly knew that, at the age of eighteen months, he couldn’t possibly look at the mountains and there was absolutely nothing I could do to make him see them. The only mountain within his range of vision is the slight rise in the path going out to the swing. This “mountain” is just as exciting to him as mine are to me. The infinitesimal piece of mica that lies on his “mountain” and catches the sun, and the tiny ant that is tugging a crumb of his cooky away -- these hold him spellbound. These are the proper objects of his curiosity now.
He’ll get to my mountains in time, and with the same zest and wonder that he now shows, if I don’t rush him....
Children are naturally curious about the really profound mysteries and deeply appreciative of universal and enduring values. But we should have the patience not to talk over their heads or beyond their experience. If we had a higher regard for human nature and a greater trust in reality, we would not be in such a hurry.
Often, it seem that we adults are afraid to let the children probe the perplexing aspects of experience. We are afraid of the honesty and frankness of children, which, when allowed free expression, so often exposes the incompleteness of our knowledge and the parochialism of so many of our values. Their simple logic and clear young vision are apt to reveal our careless thinking and the yawning gaps between our ideals and social reality. We feel as exposed as the emperor in his new clothes.
— Edith Hunter, Conversations with Children (Hunter was a Unitarian religious educator and writer.)
Naming
(If the child is a baby, usually I would hold him or her for the naming.)
Minister: What is the name of this child?
Parents give name of child.
Minister: ________________, we welcome you and we give you this name as yours forever.
You are unique. There is no one else like you in the entire world. Your parents and your family welcome you in all your uniqueness. We give you this rose, different from every other rose in the world, as a symbol of your uniqueness.
We welcome you to this community. Water is the stuff of life, water connects all living things, all of humanity. The rose is dipped in water to symbolize your essential connection with all of us in this community.
(I touch the rose to the child's forehead, and give the rose to the child. Then I give the baby back to the parents/guardians to hold.)
Prayer
Let join our hearts together in the spirit of prayer.
Dear God, who is both mother and father, the spirit of eternal and universal love: We give thanks for this new life that has come among us. Each new child brings us new hope for a new beginning. We see the great potential that lies in every human life, and we know this child will bring [his/her] unique gifts to humanity, if we help [him/her] to do so. May we recognize and nurture the unique gifts of this child. And through all the challenges and joys to come, may this child’s life be blessed with hope and courage and love.
AN ALTERNATE PRAYER that is more Christian in tone — I would not use this prayer at UUCPA, which is a congregation that is not accustomed to God-talk; but I did use this prayer, or one like it, several times at First Untiarian in New Bedford.
Let join our hearts together in the spirit of prayer.
Dear God, who is both mother and father to us, the spirit of eternal and universal love: we affirm our faith in the spiritual leadership of Jesus of Nazareth; in the supreme worth of every human person; and in the power of people of goodwill and sacrificial spirit to overcome all evil and progressively to establish the kingdom of God.
Give us the strength that we may do as Jesus taught, and love all persons as our neighbors; and so may we teach this child by word and by example to do the same.
Give us the courage to value all persons equally, and to leave behind hatred and bigotry; for so Jesus taught us, and we know that God is love; and so may we make this a better world for this new life that is with us.
Give us hope, the hope that we will make this a better world, the hope that we can live out the kingdom of God in our daily life, to live out our religion of love in the world even when that is hard to do; and so when we are old may we leave this world a better place for those who are now children.
Let us say together the prayer that Jesus taught us; you may say whichever version you know best, or if you don’t have it memorized you’ll find it in the order of service.
Our God, who is in heaven,
Hallowed be your name;
May your kingdom come,
May your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil
For yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever.
Amen.
Litany of dedication
Minister: ______________, we welcome you among us in this religious community, a direct inheritor of the moral power and wisdom of Jesus of Nazareth.
All: We give thanks for your new life, and for the new hope you bring.
Minister: We will appreciate your uniqueness, we will teach you and learn from you, we will love you and respect you, just as God loves and respects all persons equally.
Congregation [including godparents]: We will delight in your accomplishments, we will share in your sorrows, we will encourage you in every way as you grow into adulthood.
[Godparents: We promise to be always available for you and your parents in the journeys and adventures ahead, and we promise you our loving presence in your life.]
Parents/Guardians: We, your parents, love you with all our hearts, and dedicate ourselves to do all that we can to share with you the beauty and the goodness of life.
All: We will support you and your parents through all the experiences of life.
Closing words
May the truth that sets us free,
And the hope that never dies,
And the love that casts out fear
Be with us now
Until the dayspring breaks,
And the shadows flee away.
This ceremony may be changed in dicussion with the minister.